Who Knew?

It has been said, “out of the mouths of babes.”  The last few weeks I have been given wisdom, advice and council from my babes – ages 23, 22, and 16 respectively.

After much urging and encouragement from them, I decided to return to college at the age of 48.  Upon making this life changing decision, I had absolutely no idea that there was a code, a specific set of rules and guidelines, that one must strictly adhere to in order to be considered a “cool college” mom.  Lest you lose sleep, please note that these are now laminated and pasted in the front of my school notebook as I have already broken rules #2 and #6 (kind of).

1)      DO NOT WEAR SWEATS

Apparently, nothing says, “I am a mom coming back to school” louder than a 40 plus year old woman wearing a pair of sweat pants.  Today’s generation has definitely not learned to appreciate comfort over fashion.

2)      NO ROLLING BACKPACKS

I was okay with that rule.  I did not understand, however, what a statement the wrong backpack can make. My husband graciously bestowed upon me a very efficient, hand-me-down business backpack.  After resuscitating my oldest child when he saw what I intended to haul my goods in, he immediately texted his younger brother and sister  a picture of me with said backpack for their moral support.  I was immediately given a three thumbs down and a “Heck No” (and yes, I am cleaning up the language) from each child.  I was almost tardy for day 2 of class due to the family conference call regarding mom’s backpack situation.

3)      NEVER SIT FRONT AND CENTER OF THE CLASSROOM

No real reason is given for this rule and therefore, I am left to conclude all on my own, that I should not look too eager to learn.

4)      DO NOT EVER SAY THE FOLLOWING:

“I don’t get it”, “Can you repeat that a little slower”, or “I don’t understand how to do my homework online”.  ANY technological questions and dilemmas can be solved privately in my own home with my personal technical support team.

5)      DO NOT WEAR HEELS…until you have a clear understanding of exactly how far you will be walking.  Well shoot!  I really wanted to try out my new pumps with my sweats!

6)      If you ever need to contact a classmate (ages 18 to 30) for ANY reason, for heaven’s sake TEXT…DO NOT CALL AND ACTUALLY HAVE A CONVERSATION!  Only if they call you, can you call them back.

7)      And finally, from my 23 year old son attending the same university, DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER FORGET TO WEAR YOUR WEDDING RING!  I am not sure if I should laugh or say, “Thank you!”

I am baffled, as I reminisce, as to how I ever survived my nerdy, shy, awkward, and Farah Fawcett hair days without their words of what “NOT TO DO!”

I do, however, feel completely blessed that it is still totally “cool” for my 23 year old son to walk me to class on the first day and for my 16 year old son to say, “Spencer, when you drop mom off, make sure she has a buddy.”