Recently, while cleaning out my desk, I came across a note I wrote to myself a couple of years ago. It was just what I needed today. It felt like my previous self must have surely known what my present self would need. So today... I blog for my own soul and hope it fills yours in some small way. This is unchanged from my notes two years ago.
I learned a lot in 2013. Returning to the college scene filled my seemingly small brain with, surprisingly, vast amounts of knowledge. My greatest life lesson, however, did not come in the classroom. I have discovered that when you REALLY learn something, it changes you to the very core.
2013 did just that, it changed me and humbled me. For that, I am grateful. I hate to admit this - but knowingly and unknowingly, I have compared myself to others - they're cuter, they're skinnier, they're richer, they're smarter, they're more spiritual, they're a better wife, mom, student, daughter, sister and friend. "Their" life is just so good. It's perfect! What I can't really define is who "they" are - I just know "they" had it better. What I learned in 2013 (at age 50) is that I couldn't be more wrong.
The danger in comparison is one of the most harmful things we can do to ourselves and one of the most unfair things that we can do to others. It seems so easy to compare my failures with others successes or my challenges with others blessings.The real lesson I was taught is how unfair or unkind it is to judge the challenges and trials of others against my own blessings or even beliefs or to judge their failures against my successes.
We can look at, read, and judge someone's life by their Facebook post or Instagram pictures (Yay for technology!) What you can't see, or feel is their soul. A beautiful smile may be hiding a broken heart. A funny story may be covering pain that is so real and so deep but is undetected from the human eye.
Maybe we do get glimpses of what they're dealing with and we decide we would handle it so much better. Shame on us! When we look at a person and believe their life is perfect, I can guarantee we are 100% wrong. (Make that 110%)
If challenges and trials haven't come your way, they will. I don't wish them on any of you. I pray nothing but goodness in your lives. However, eventually, hard days do come, storms pass through and tears flow. I have learned that the only thing I want on those days (or any day for that matter) is to feel loved.
So I now ask myself, "Why wouldn't 'they' feel the same way. I may not agree with someone, I may not understand, I may not "get it." What I do know is that I can love. My heart (like my brain) is seemingly small, but it can hold vast amounts of love. The best part about love is that I don't have to to fix anything, I don't have to change anyone, I don't have to talk ill or harshly about someone to make myself feel better. I don't have to give up my values or beliefs - I just get to love.
When I compare myself to others, no progress will seem good enough. When I think someone else is perfect, they have nowhere to go but down. We are human - doing the best we can each day, putting one foot in front of the other.
